Emo Post about friends

You know I thought by the time people reach Junior Colleges, they'll be mature enough to leave their superficial artificial selves behind and approach life in a mature and open-minded way. But I realize that was just me thinking of bullshit. People are still the same egoistic, self centered and backstabbing teens that they were in Secondary school. And yes, sad to say some of my classmates are exact representation of these people. They are always looking for someone to hate, someone to bully to vet their own insecure appetites. Whether it's me or someone else, I do not particularly care but they are always on to it. It's like as if they cannot accept anyone who treads a different path than what is considered a norm.

Come to think of it, it'll be selfish to describe all of my classmates in this manner. No there are some really genuinely nice people who are not judgemental, vindictive and not looking for a poor soul to bully. Like Christine. Last year I used to avoid her under the pretense that she'll probably be judgemental of me and that if I ended up on her bad side, she'll not like me and stuff. But this year as I got to know her better, I realized she is a really nice person to talk to and not at all the type of person I envisioned her to be last year.

Then there's people like Ryan, Salem. Always nice to talk to them whenever I am in need for a good laugh.

Finally there are 2 people in my class whom I feel I can trust my life with. And ironically they are the first 2 friends I made in YJ. Ying Xia and Daryl. They've really stuck by me even when I was being reserved and ignorant and they never fail to share a joke with me or they never get tired of me bitching about YJC and other things in life. I always have such a great time with Ying Xia bullshitting about all the absurdities and abnormalities in life and I have fun stoning with Daryl during lectures.

You know after we graduate from YJ, I think I'll probably end up keeping in touch with these 2 people because they're genuine friends. They're not fake, I know they'll never backstab me and I'm pretty sure in times of dire needs they'll stick by me. I guess life would have been very different if I wasn't in YJ or if I wasn't in 121/221.

Well despite my outright agnostic attitude, I thank God everyday for giving me a blessed family, a pair of jokers (Luis and Ian), my friends (like Sharon, Rat, Arnie, Jen...) and also amazing school friends like YX and Daryl.

I love them all!

And in the true word's of Nick Carraway, I feel that "reserving judgement is a matter of infinite hope."

Friendship

You know what I just realized? I had a very bad misconception for the longest time. I used to think that if you had many friends, you'd be truly happy. Which is why I was all out making friends in secondary school. And guess what? I got stabbed in the back, humiliated, rejected and all the possible nightmares you can think of. It explains why I was so reserved during the first 3 months at YJ, alienating myself most of the time, allowing myself to keep only a few friends.

Yeah sure I mean everyone says hi and hello but that's the expected decorum of society. Other than that, I am not sure if I feel anything for them. I mean yeah if they ever need help, I'll gladly help them. If they need a shoulder to cry on, I'll happily lend it to them. But somehow I'll never be attached to them in the certain way I am attached to my closest friends in YJ. Yixie. Ning. Kings. Tiwari (yeah I know, go ahead and gasp). Daryl (To some extent, when he doesn't tease me about who's going to be our new CT. :P). I don't know what I'll do without these guys. They are my life at school and I know I can tell them my deepest darkest miseries and they'll still smile and tell me to move on. I love you guys a lot!

I have now understood that it's quality not quantity that matters. You can have 100 friends but can you be certain all 100 of them are going to stand by you, no matter what? Through thick and thin? Yeah some will but what about the rest? But if you only focused and devoted all your love and friendship to those few you know will stick by you, won't it make it much nicer? Isn't the concept of being cosy well practiced and accepted? Hmmm? Well if you're reading this and you happen to be one whose name's not mentioned, don't take offence. I love you and I'll always be your friend. But they're just more special to me. Sorry. :)