A little observation

I just realized trusting people can be a lot harder than I orginially imagined. Okay, maybe not this whole trust thing but more like depending on someone kind of thing. The point is, at the end of the day, if I take the plunge, will he take the plunge with me?

Luis gave me some great advice today. In the true words of D-generation X, "SUCK IT!" Lol! Thanks. Seriously I couldn't care less about who likes me or who doesn't. If you think I am not likeable and you want to advice your friends into doing the same go ahead. I seriously don't need people in my life who can't make a decision for themselves and needs your influence to do so. See if I care...

Friendship

You know what I just realized? I had a very bad misconception for the longest time. I used to think that if you had many friends, you'd be truly happy. Which is why I was all out making friends in secondary school. And guess what? I got stabbed in the back, humiliated, rejected and all the possible nightmares you can think of. It explains why I was so reserved during the first 3 months at YJ, alienating myself most of the time, allowing myself to keep only a few friends.

Yeah sure I mean everyone says hi and hello but that's the expected decorum of society. Other than that, I am not sure if I feel anything for them. I mean yeah if they ever need help, I'll gladly help them. If they need a shoulder to cry on, I'll happily lend it to them. But somehow I'll never be attached to them in the certain way I am attached to my closest friends in YJ. Yixie. Ning. Kings. Tiwari (yeah I know, go ahead and gasp). Daryl (To some extent, when he doesn't tease me about who's going to be our new CT. :P). I don't know what I'll do without these guys. They are my life at school and I know I can tell them my deepest darkest miseries and they'll still smile and tell me to move on. I love you guys a lot!

I have now understood that it's quality not quantity that matters. You can have 100 friends but can you be certain all 100 of them are going to stand by you, no matter what? Through thick and thin? Yeah some will but what about the rest? But if you only focused and devoted all your love and friendship to those few you know will stick by you, won't it make it much nicer? Isn't the concept of being cosy well practiced and accepted? Hmmm? Well if you're reading this and you happen to be one whose name's not mentioned, don't take offence. I love you and I'll always be your friend. But they're just more special to me. Sorry. :)

Stupid PW

I hate PW! It's a fucked up subject which doesn't deserve priority. But oh well...gotta pass it either way. Grrrrrrr! I just hope OP is over! Can't wait for PW to end. Then I'll truly celebrate.

Heart of Darkness Rocks!

I know it's quite cliched to say this but hey, I had a really good day in school today, considering I have been suffering from massive depression the past few months and also focusing too much on my insecurites. But strangely things went so well today, thanks to two of my friends, Kings and Yixie. Ironically it happened when we were going home. Since it wasn't 1.30 pm yet, we weren't allowed to leave the school compound, so we lingered on near the Guard House. We got so bored that we started playing a really lame game called "Take 3 steps forward and then 2 steps backward". Then Mr. Tay went by and asked us what we were doing. When we explained our "game" to him, he improvised and adviced us to walk all the way to the courtyard and take one step at a time. According to his calculations, he said, "By the time we reach the Guard House, it'll already be 1.30", with that he just went off. Lol! Funny guy!

Another reason for my happiness is this!

YES! Finally got it. This is our last Lit text for the A-levels and I have been looking forward to this! Yeah sure it cost me $15 but it was money well spent. Not like as if I had an option of not buying but still, Christine and I are the only ones from our class who have purchased the book so far. Wheeeeeeeee!

Tomorrow I have to go back to school to do a stupid survey which our class didn't do today. We rock. We always do things as a class, that includes skipping tutorial, which our dear P21 did once. That also Econs because Ms Koh wasn't around. Oh boy, I don't think I'll ever forget the scolding we got from Mr. Syn because he was waiting for us at our venue and no one showed up! LOL! :D

Anyway, just because I feel like it, let me show you all of my Lit texts ok?

Ok, gotta go. Going to continue reading Heart of Darkness.

Boedi Oetomo

Kingsley finds this funny! Booo!

According to him, "I find it funny because you (me) were talking to your brother...ah you know the rest *funny smirk*" Go Figure.

Going for Spencer's Lit in a while.......bah!

Incase you can't figure it out, I am at school.