Deathly Hallows...

Just read Deathly Hallows. I won't say much here for the obvious reasons of spoilers but I can't remember crying so hard over a book. And I started tearing right from the begining because first and foremost, holding the book in my hands gave me a shrewd reminder that this is the end of the Harry Potter phenomenon. The 10 year saga, through which I practically grew up, has finally come to an end. Suddenly after reading the last word of the book, I felt as if a large chunk of me has fallen off. Even as I write this, I feel so horribly emotional because I can't believe that everything is over. No longer are we going to be treated into the fabulous world of magic and Hogwarts or witness the tyranny of Lord Voldemort and his cronies or hear the usually unintelligable words of wisdom from Albus Dumbledore. When I read Half Blood Prince, I didnot even tear up at Dumbledore's death. No I simply felt, well it was more like Surely Snape has a good reason for what he did.

I cried particularly hard at Snape's death. (This isn't much of a giveaway since most of us knew he was going to get snuffed in the end) It wasn't the honourable death that we had all expected him to receive. No he died rather pathetically, killed by Voldemort not for the reasons of being a traitor but for something else...I guess part of the reason why I teared up so miserably is because deep down inside me I hoped he'd survive. That he'd be honoured by the wizarding world for his sacrifices. His bravery and loyalty. But he died and I guess if Snape was real, that'd be the way he would've wanted to go.

I enjoyed the Snape/Lily shipper, something most of us had once again guessed correctly ever since Jo mentioned something big about Lily would be revealed and also Dumbledore's cast iron excuse to trust Snape. Harry Potter fans are not dumb you know, we can indeed add 2+2 without the aid of magic. :) I enjoyed the flashbacks (i.e. Snape's memories with his approval if I may add) that Harry saw in the Penesive. The young Sev was just so adorable and it pains me to envisiage he actually joined the Death Eaters. But nevertheless I appreciate Rowling giving backbone to the Snape/Lily shipper even though it was one sided. Another point of delight is that both Snape and Lily in their years at Hogwarts acknowledged they were BEST FRIENDS. I can almost imagine the plethora of fanfictions that are going to prop up on various Harry Potter communities.

I hated a certain someone's death. He was just awesome and shouldn't have died. Jo didn't do justice to his otherwise lovable character. His death occurs at Pg 538 British edition. You should know who if you've read the book. That was gut wrenching and I cried a lot over it. He was one of my favourite. I also hated a couple's death. No really a couple but you can guess who I am talking about. I expected him to survive but now I guess the Marauders are all reunited in afterlife! Happy thing!

Let's see another part that made me go aww was the Malfoys at the end. How they cuddled up together and held each other. They had no friends (all their friends were power hungry DEs lead by a lunatic), only each other. I never expected such display of affection from them. I think JKR did them justice. <3 Malfoys.

2 of my favourite creatures died. Why! It is sad. I will miss them terribly especially the one who worked in Hogwarts. :(

That's all I can say. The rest of the book was action packed and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I just wish the Order of the Phoneix, most of them, didn't die. Especially the guy on Pg 539 and Snape. :(

Man I sure feel empty now that the suspense is over.

The epilogue made me cry again because 19 years have passed! Since all of them died. It's a personal issue...don't bother. But Albus Severus Potter is just the most adorable kid in the world! James Harry Potter reminds us so much of James Potter Sr. Haha! You'll know what I am talking about. And Scorpius Malfoy. Hahah! Jo should definitely write another series documenting the rivalry between Albus Severus Potter and Scorpius Draco Malfoy. :D

Bottomline: I love Severus Snape! And the entire series and I have found some respect for Mr. Scarhead now that he acknowledges Snape as the bravest man he ever met rather than a greasy git. :D

I guess after reading Harry Potter one can look at death a little more optimistically. Dunno why I said that but...that's just how I feel.

Reflection...

I actually managed to get a lot of studying done despite oversleeping, hence, missing school. I revised my History and Math quite intensely but I still think there's that enthusiasm missing in me. I used to have so much of it when I was in Sec 2. I used to find sheer joy in studying and nowadays I just cannot concentrate. I mean sitting down and studying for a solid half an hour has become a challenge for me whereas when I was younger I used to study for 2-3 hours solid without any breaks at all. That explains the dip in my grades. I used to be a straight A student and now I'm barely getting any As.

And everday I hear how NUS, NTU and SMU are becoming more stringent over their admission criteria and only admitting the best of the best. Even some straight A cases are not getting into the course of their choice. Then I see my progress report and I get so depressed. These shouldn't be the grades for me. I am capable of better grades. I know I have enough calibre and intelligence in me to get all As. But for the last 3 years I have been feeling so dazed, out of focus. I guess that attributes to my not-so-impressive O level results. I don't think I can afford to have a repitation of that fiasco. This is my last chance to redeem myself, to decide on a good career and work hard for it. If I screw up my A levels, I am finished for life. I have one shot, one opportunity and I just can't blow it.

It feels good now, getting that bit above off my chest. I spoke to my cousin about this problem and she gave me a good piece of advice. She told me I can overcome this concentration deficiency by forcing my will over my mind. I must tell my mind not to wonder off but focus on studying. I must assert self control over myself and will myself to study. She also told me to somehow find that similar joy I used to feel while studying 4 years back. I must love the new things I learn. Gaah. Ok, enough of I will do this or that. I've decided from tomorrow onwards, I'll take control of my life. I'll force myself to sit down and study for solid 2-5 hours.

Prelims are in 6 weeks time, A levels in 4 months. I am not going to go down without a fight. Time to wake up, work hard and kick ass! Hell yeah! :D

What would you do?

I wonder where it will all end. These uncertainties that linger over my head, the screaming pessimism in my head. The thumping of my heart against my ribs as fear rushes through my vein, my vision blurs and I hear the drums beating my ears. I know I am preparing myself for war. I was taught to be fearless yet my torso shakes with fear. The agony of waiting, watching, waiting and anticipating, knowing well that the worst is yet to come. What would you do?

Coupling

I want Coupling Series 1-4 on DVD! I'm simply hooked to the show. I just love Jeff's semi-Scottish, semi-Irish accent. Yes in case you are wondering, they are different accents. And I love Patrick's cool headedness and Steve's whinning. Jack Davenport is of course teh darling. <3 But seriously I want Coupling on DVD! *sobs*

Not cool!

JACK DAVENPORT! You do not look hot in that long messy hair style. I understand the pirate in you is wanting to immitate Jack Sparrow for whatever reason God knows, you are far better off with that cute nerdy neat hairstyle you had when you were shooting Coupling. Please get you damn hair cut you bloody Brit.