I actually managed to get a lot of studying done despite oversleeping, hence, missing school. I revised my History and Math quite intensely but I still think there's that enthusiasm missing in me. I used to have so much of it when I was in Sec 2. I used to find sheer joy in studying and nowadays I just cannot concentrate. I mean sitting down and studying for a solid half an hour has become a challenge for me whereas when I was younger I used to study for 2-3 hours solid without any breaks at all. That explains the dip in my grades. I used to be a straight A student and now I'm barely getting any As.
And everday I hear how NUS, NTU and SMU are becoming more stringent over their admission criteria and only admitting the best of the best. Even some straight A cases are not getting into the course of their choice. Then I see my progress report and I get so depressed. These shouldn't be the grades for me. I am capable of better grades. I know I have enough calibre and intelligence in me to get all As. But for the last 3 years I have been feeling so dazed, out of focus. I guess that attributes to my not-so-impressive O level results. I don't think I can afford to have a repitation of that fiasco. This is my last chance to redeem myself, to decide on a good career and work hard for it. If I screw up my A levels, I am finished for life. I have one shot, one opportunity and I just can't blow it.
It feels good now, getting that bit above off my chest. I spoke to my cousin about this problem and she gave me a good piece of advice. She told me I can overcome this concentration deficiency by forcing my will over my mind. I must tell my mind not to wonder off but focus on studying. I must assert self control over myself and will myself to study. She also told me to somehow find that similar joy I used to feel while studying 4 years back. I must love the new things I learn. Gaah. Ok, enough of I will do this or that. I've decided from tomorrow onwards, I'll take control of my life. I'll force myself to sit down and study for solid 2-5 hours.
Prelims are in 6 weeks time, A levels in 4 months. I am not going to go down without a fight. Time to wake up, work hard and kick ass! Hell yeah! :D