You know what I just realized? I had a very bad misconception for the longest time. I used to think that if you had many friends, you'd be truly happy. Which is why I was all out making friends in secondary school. And guess what? I got stabbed in the back, humiliated, rejected and all the possible nightmares you can think of. It explains why I was so reserved during the first 3 months at YJ, alienating myself most of the time, allowing myself to keep only a few friends.
Yeah sure I mean everyone says hi and hello but that's the expected decorum of society. Other than that, I am not sure if I feel anything for them. I mean yeah if they ever need help, I'll gladly help them. If they need a shoulder to cry on, I'll happily lend it to them. But somehow I'll never be attached to them in the certain way I am attached to my closest friends in YJ. Yixie. Ning. Kings. Tiwari (yeah I know, go ahead and gasp). Daryl (To some extent, when he doesn't tease me about who's going to be our new CT. :P). I don't know what I'll do without these guys. They are my life at school and I know I can tell them my deepest darkest miseries and they'll still smile and tell me to move on. I love you guys a lot!
I have now understood that it's quality not quantity that matters. You can have 100 friends but can you be certain all 100 of them are going to stand by you, no matter what? Through thick and thin? Yeah some will but what about the rest? But if you only focused and devoted all your love and friendship to those few you know will stick by you, won't it make it much nicer? Isn't the concept of being cosy well practiced and accepted? Hmmm? Well if you're reading this and you happen to be one whose name's not mentioned, don't take offence. I love you and I'll always be your friend. But they're just more special to me. Sorry. :)